a sweet memories...

went to cheer chen's concert last nite.
all i can say is...
it is the best concert of the century.

At first,
i thought i will be disappointed.
All the chair etc is like a normal chair.
I arrived early.
And i was sitting alone.
It is kinda weird feeling.
Saw many people either come with frenz or with their partner.
Luckily, there are some alone too.
Beside that...
i was sitting quite far.
I have to keep sit very straight to catch her singing more clear.
Quite tiring.

But at the middle of the concert is the high point.
When she sing "sentimental kill",
Everybody slowly started to stand on the chair.
Everybody was clapping and singing together loud.
I cant imagine there is a concert with everyone standing on the chair watching it.
From that moment, everyone start standing till the concert end.
At first, i dun dare to stand on the chair one.
Hahaha... paiseh.
But if i dun stand, i cant watch anything.
So i just go crazy with them.
Like them,
i stand with them...
Shout...
Clap...
Hahhaa.... i love it.
i simply went crazy with them.

I got buy the light stick.
But dun dare to take out.
hahaha.. no one beside me got.
So a bit paiseh.

We keep shout encore and clap.
I think got around 5-6 times.
haha...then she keep coming out sing song.
She almost cry cuz of the passion we shown.

Some of them thought concert finish then go hm le.
But who know she keep coming out sing song.
Luckily, i stay long enough to finish everything.
In the end, no one care abt how much you pay.
All rush to the front.
I was one of them too.
Standing at the most expensive chair listen.
In the end,
concert end at 1130.
Hahaha... No last train.
No choice...
have to take taxi hm.

After concert,
everyone is talking abt her concert on the way hm.

what i like abt her is...
She is simple, cheerful and talented.
Moreover, she is more pretty in person.
Her voice indeed is damn sweet like angel.
Different from what we hear in cd.
Live is better. :)
She dun have the angel body or exp clothes.
Never claim for famous.
Just do what she love.

she is just like a devil with a angel voice.
She is able to strike your heart with her song.

沒有華麗、亮眼的服裝。。
沒有精彩、旋律的舞步。。
只有美妙、動聽、真誠的聲音。

i getting to know which type of girl i like.
Simple...
Cheerful...
That's all. :)

Again i hope to go oversea backpacking.
Want to go a place with no tv, computer etc.

It is my first time going concert.
First time enjoy myself .
First time really happy from inner self.
Even after the concert, while i was going hm...
I smile unintentionally.
If got chance,
i will definitely go again for her concert and buy the most expensive one.

she got say one sentence....
"人生最可悲的是給了你翅膀　卻不讓你飛"

I hope i will find some courage from there.
Now i know whenever i feel sad or emo,
i simple play her song...
At least i feel better.
A place for me to hide.
Thanks.

I will be strong again.
Cuz i dun want to let myself down.
Soon...
Soon enough...
I will....

Till now,
her concert still keep appearing on my mind.
Better...
Better than thinking of other thing else.

How much i wish the concert will never end...
I dun want go away from there.
It give me happiness and secure.

Anyway, thanks cheer chen.
You simply the best. :)

Late Night Song

Lyrics: http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Melanie-C/Better-Alone.html

Specially delicated for you

Specially delicated for "you"

Feel

After running 2.4km,
i have a sudden feeling...
I hate myself.
I hate life.
What to do?

My heart is filled with fear all that.
I hope someone can help or guide me.
But...
Who can i turn to?

Sometime i feel life is really unfair.
I work hard...
I put in effort...
But in the end life didnt favour me.
Compare with other..
those never really put in any effort.
Who can i blame?

Actually i just need someone to talk to...
Never give up on me no matter what...
But...
where are you?

I just want happiness.
No more playing hide and seek with me.
I am tired of it.
Can stop it?

I am lost...
Which road should i continue work toward to?

There are too many questions to be ans.
But...
where can i get the ans?

I hate regret.
That's why i have been doing things that are rational for these few years.
Everything that need to be done will go through my head.
Decide to buy or do things will take quite sometimes.
Cuz i afraid i do something wrong again.
How much i wish i can follow my heart and do things.
But i cant.
That's why i have been looking at other for inspiration.
E.g. Penny Tai and Chen Qi Zhen.
They have a skinny and small body.
But inside them,
they have such a great determination and passion.
They dun care abt fame all that.
Just do whatever they like.
Hang on to the thing they like.
Such courage and determination i am afraid to say i dun have.

I need happy go lucky friends or whoever to come inside my world.
I need you all.
I need you.
Please enter without fear.
Color my life with laughter and joy.
I will definitely appericate it very much.

I didnt really recover from the first fall in my life.
I am acting strong in the cover.
Maybe during that fall,
i dunnoe how to stand up.
That fall change my life completely and impact it alot.
I feel that i dun need anyone's help at that point of time.
Cuz i noe i myself can do it.
I noe i can stand up myself.
I dun want ppl to look down on me.
So i chose to keep everything to myself.
I hide myself behind the cloud.
I overestimate myself.

This time round...
i chose to let ppl know.
Cuz i hope they can help.
But...

I dun like to do things alone.
I dun like to watch soccer and shout alone.
I dun like to go out take mrt alone.
I dun like to keep everything inside my heart.

For those who have read my posts,
i know i am weak at the moment...
Give me time.
No matter how long is it,
i will be strong one.
I know it will be a painful road for me to walk.
Even i fall and get injury along the way...
i will still continue walk.
Because i dun want to let myself down.

TGL

希望

时常会觉得心里淡淡的忧伤
不知道为什么感觉做什么都不能尽兴
难道是我自己放不开

我怕对别人说自己陷入的困境
因为没有人可以拯救自己
能救自己的只有自己的手

今天又开矛盾了？
到底要不要放弃？
人总是 需要找到平衡？
放弃现在的，能否平衡 现在的生活吗？

真希望这一切可以在音乐停止的时候啪的一下停止或者消失掉

Tears in Heaven

I must be strong. And carry on,

Close the light. Close your eyes.

......

So sick and tired of everything.
Why must make everything so stiff now?
Forget it.

Now just looking forward to cheer chen's concert.
Plus army soon.
Want to go in fast.
Make myself busy with training.
And meet more kai ki. :)

All the long i have been feeling i need a wake up call.
I used to be useless.
No confident etc.
Cuz fallen once make a really deep impact on me.
Make me keep running around at the problem.
Never really meet the problem and solve it.
I have the feeling since last time one day i will have a wake up call.
Keep wanting it to come.
I thought the wake up call will come like ppl scold me
or i chat with someone then suddenly i feel i need to wake up.
But this wake up call come unexpectedly and pain.
Now i believe it is the time.
Thanks.
I think this come at the right time.
I will be strong and really become the person i want to be.

I dun blame you for anything.
I know it is not your fault.
I just cant accept anything that happen too sudden.
Plus i cant accept it when u so fast put down everything and move on with another guy.
For this relationship,
it is just cuz we have different mindset.
We have different thinking and goals.
So even we stay together,
we may not go on forever.
You can't accept me for who am i is already a obstacles.
Got one song best describe the situation now.

就让这首歌 - 张震岳/MC HotDog/侯佩岑
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/164611ht.htm
"我们都没错只是看清楚原来不懂的事"

I didn't do anything regarding you.
Stop your sensitive and self centered.
Let end it here.
Feel it is so idiot for whatever thing have happened.

Anyway, have no idea who is the passerby.
If can, stop everything.
Stop reading her blog. :)

Love to hate

Anyway, just to let you all know all the tag and all the menu is below. Scroll all the way down and will see it. haha.. have no idea why it have shift to there.

Hmmm....
I begin to believe love can easily turn to hate.
I have less trust in people now.
The things she say or promise is like everything is lie.
Maybe if she didn't say anything or what before...
I am able to accept what it had already happen most easy.
Like wth..
I mean i can't believe she is like that.
Know her for so many years.
What want to enjoy now and wun commit unless she found that really "right" person.
But the guy she now with is like they know each other for 1 mths plus.
Is 1 mths plus can so fast know that person is really the right one ma?
@#$$@@!@...
That guy have id** f*** face.
@#!@#!%!#!...
Hate that guy to the core.
Maybe you soon.
I am trying...
But i still can't do it now.
After a nite, i truly forgive you.
But i will try again...
Hope one day i will manage to do it.
Just let me curse and feel better even for a short while.
Sorry for doing that.

I accept her for who she is.
I dun mind anything regarding her no matter is her family or her background.
I fought hard for our future.
I try hard to accomdate you.
Sometimes i just wonder how come she just can't understand me.
I have responsibility for many things.
Instead of whatever things, she can show support to me.
Sometime i can't just spend every min or sec with her.
I have work...
I can't neglect my family...
The guy can happily go study with you.
So nice.
!@@#$@#@!

I am learning on how to jungle life, work, family, friends and you.
But what i can say i spend most of times with you.
Just dun want to make u feel neglect.
Doing everything for you nicely.
Help u solve whatever problem that u encounter.
Show support to you for whatever you do.
Think of every way to make you happy.
Never tell you my problems is cuz dun want to make you more stress.
You are easily stress over a small stuff.
It is like five finger can count that you do ever ask me things regarding me.
Whatever things i do, i put u in my mind first.
Is this the treatment i deserve now?
@@#!@!#@

Love is to accept each other even though it is their weakness.
Love need compromise.
Love will have it's low and high.
What matter most is both of them have each other in their heart
and never ever give up.
You say u expect your love to be high forever.
hmmm... r u sure that will happen?

Believe things dun have to be say out to claim the rewards.
What is the use of saying out when u truly want to do something for her.

She point to my pride as one of the reason.
But who want a guy to be her husband when he have no pride at all.
I mean pride in doing the things that he will have confident in.
Do you want a guy that willing to go out beg money to buy things or food?

You just want a small little bro that you can manage.
What you want him to do he will listen everything and do it.
I think my neighbour's lucky can do that also.
Too self centered minded.
I despise that guy.

She intend to cut off all contact with me.
Fine. :)
I now then know what is heart pain. Really got the pain.

I really need to get rid of my tiredness.

这几天一直沉醉在悲伤的大海，
而今天突然奇迹般的没事了。
回想着当时的自己，
总觉得自己好傻。
其实在烦恼的事想忘记也很简单。
只是看自己愿不愿意放下，
但有些事却又不是说放就能放的。

18/9/07

I lost the second round... :(

Third round is now ongoing.
But i am getting to know "his" weakness.
Believe sooner or later i will have it subdue.

Confirm going to cheer chen's concert.
29th Sept'07
Alone. :)
But dun mind.
Cuz who know when she coming again.
And what most important is to go there moved by her song.
Have been listening to her songs all these few nites.
It help me to slp better.
First time going concert.
Want to relax before going army.

I am extremely weak when i am tired.
Want to get some gd slp.

Anyway, i have no idea on whether u r happy now or what.
Hmmm.... :)

唉，人活着到底是为了什么？
是为了遇见想见的人吗?
还是有其他的原因？



just listen to the song can le.
Mtv is not so good.
Especially the lyrics.
My song before slp.

Countdown...

One more month to go for army...
Both Mentally and Psycially not prepared.

Xm and Km have gone this week.
Left me the only one that havent gone in.

I hope before army i will get my mind sorted out.
Have been emo for this few days.
Dunnoe y.
I hate that feeling.

原来有些东西只要伸出手
就会触碰得到
我越来越不喜欢尝试了呢
不知道怎么

Believe she have a new guy.
Frankly speaking, hate that guy to the core.
Feel like cursing him...
But controlling...
I admit i am not "wei da".
Like if you want her to be happy,
let her go and bless her.
I cant do it.
I can't believe within 1 mth she have found.
Know her for so many years, never think she will like that.
Hmmm....
Maybe human do change..
I am the only one that never change.
I hate it.
I will make myself change too.

迷茫有好多对将来有太多的彷徨和害怕
恐慌着得不到自己想要的生活
想要的幸福到底会不会在前方等着我们
其实到底什么是幸福

Found quite a few new chinese songs to share with you all.


信 我恨你

Music: http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/176233ht.htm
Lyrics: http://www.aiting.com/MusicData/Lyrics/154020.Html

信 错了
Music: http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/176234ht.htm

杨丞琳 学会

Music: http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/176022ht.htm

Lost

i am afraid of lost.
I mean that kind of losing someone or something.
I dunnoe what can i do to prevent this for happen.

Is there any magic or way that can hold on to someone/something forever?
Anyone know?

i am seriously afraid.
Especially someone that hold a place inside my heart...
Especially something that i have been keeping and treating it seriously...
What can i do?

Let me find true happiness in any form.
i dun mind sacrifice anyting to exchange it.

sometime i am thinking whether be a tree is gd not.
Cuz they can stay as long as they want at where they first belong.
No matter got thunder or raining,
they will remain in their own place.
The leave swing to the way the wind blow them.
Furthermore, it will bring beautiful scene for everybody.

What about fish?
They can happily swim at the big ocean.
When they cry, no one will know.
Maybe all the ocean and pond is their tears.
Who know?

What about cloud?
They can cry whenever they want.
They can show their emotion anytime they want.
When they are sad, everybody know the cloud is sad and crying.
So nice that everybody know.

Hmm... firefly?
They bring light to everyone's life when they are lost in the dark.
But as long their light is gone, they are dead.
Everyone remember only their good. :)

Maybe i should be wind...
It appear everywhere and invisible.
Giving everybody their need.

Which one is good to be stated above?
Maybe i will chose firefly..
Maybe...

Thoughtful day...

If it's dead, don't go digging it up every five minutes to check if there's a pulse. It's dead, walk away.

This sentence is extracted from "the rules of life" rules 36.
Currently reading "the rules of life".

Just finished "for one more day".
Indeed this bk is highly recommended.
I love it especially the ending part.
Below are some sentences i extracted out from the story. I found it very meaningful and would like to share with those that are reading my blog.

When someone is in your heart, they're never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at unlikely times.

The backside of a mountain is a fight against human nature. You have to care as much about yourself on the way down as you did on the way up.

When a lost loved one appears before you, it's your brain that fights it, not your heart.

There's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking.

i would like to make things right again with those i love.
Life is short.
There is no enough time for us to go back if we make mistake.
I will try to live like tmr is the last day i going to live in the world.
So that i can let them know how much i love them.
One day, I want to leave the world with people remember me for...
all the good things...
all the memories we shared...

Happy is the most important thing that exist in the world.

Not used to doing all this.
But i guess i will try it.
Dun want to live in regret in the future.
No more regret.

I am trying very hard to get everything back to the right track.

Finished watching the drama" Attack no 1"
So nice especially the last part.
It show how she stand up again be counted after setbacks..injury etc.
Like the way she is so optimistic and determined.
The way she hold on to her dreams.
The way she show her courage.
Very inspiration.
Highly Recommended show!

Found the main actress is so sweet.
anyway her name is Ueto Aya 上戸彩.
Dreaming of having this type of gf.
extremely playful, spirited personality and happy go lucky girl.
Believe this is the right type of girl for me.
It will color my world.
Maybe i am a person that think alot.
Need a type of girl that even world fall also no worry one. :)
That girl will teach me how to stay happy truthfully.
Support me and never easily say give up one.
Accept me for who i am. :)

Maybe i am dreaming...
But there is no harm dreaming for this type of girl.
So i will keep dreaming...
Who know tmr she appear in my life le?

Anyway, i love to dream.
Because this is when i am bring to somewhere maybe i have never go before.
This is when i can dream of sweet or exciting events.
I am strange...I like to dream of things very scary or what one.
Like chasing by a bunch of ghosts or what. :)
I love dreaming...

Learning morse code now. :)

Once....

once i sort out my thought...
once i get rid of my tiredness...
once i have become someone...
Everything will be smooth.

The day is coming soon...

如果你不是我曾经的理想，我想我不会有这样苛刻的自省
请把你说的话全部收回，也把我说的话全部还给我。

during sat when went out with ting..
saw this sentence at a photo.

"Do not regret the past; the past is over, and cannot be recovered. Concentrate on the future starting with the next moment."

will start to upload photo when noe how to do it. :)

五月天 / 陈绮贞 - 私奔到月球

nice and happy song. First happy song from me .:)

Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

later midnite song again.

Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough - Patti Smyth & Don Henley

For lyrics, link below.

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/don+henley/sometimes+love+just+aint+enough_20042095.html

today

09/09/2007 2:40am

currently reading "one more day" by mitch albom.
Nice story.
Have read his "five persons you meet in heaven" and "tues with morries".
Found "five persons..." is much more nicer.

Think reading bk is one of my rountine now. :)
I am a "bookworm".
Knowledge is never enough.

Meet ting today.
It is a big step and courage for me to do it.
Cuz i dun dare to try go out with other.
Maybe I rather "hide" at hm.
But i dunnoe why in the end i still go when ting call.
Didnt regret afterall.
Nice chatting with her.
Comfortable and realise quite alot.
Anyway, You are so talented.
A inspiration to me.
Thanks ting. :)

Watching Attack No 1 nowsday in crunchyroll.
Nice and inspiration show.
And a way to distract me and kill all the useless thought.

As time go on one day by one day,
My faith in relationship is getting fade one day by one day.
It is so realistic.
Afraid one day i will lose the courage to go into relationship again.
That day seem to be so soon.
But i hope that day will never come... :(

8/9/07 suppose to be our 1st anni.
But now it seem that this day is nothing and normal to you.
While i still pain and sad over it.
It's ok.
I suppose i should treat this as normal day too...
Although it is a "little bit" hard...
Feel like cursing...
But controlling..

Need to set goals for myself.
No matter what, i must have faith in myself that in the future i will be successful person.
i want to soar like eagles.
Always soaring on the sky and looking out for opportunity.

Want go catch the concert.
Cheer Chen(Chen qi zhen) concert.
It's ok to watch alone.
I think so ba. :)

Life Treatment

Seriously in a loss.
Damn hate it man.

why can't i be happy as well?
This shouldn't be the way on how i should be treated by life.
Can "you" show some kindness to me?
Give me guidance and a road for me to walk.

I am really lost in the crossroad.
I don't mind life shorten by few years.
I just want to be happy.
Any form of happiness will do.
I seriously need to inject it into my soul.
It's as simple as that.

我离开了我最爱的人。
我要让他的日子好过一些。
所以我选择了消失在他的世界里。
我说我要笑着和他说离开。
因为我的离开是给他最后的幸福。

我会慢慢恢复。让自己快乐起来的。

i will try hard...very hard...!

What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts

another midnight song. :)

go to this link for lyrics:

http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/rascal-flatts/what-hurts-the-most-16686.html

A Loser

Hp no have been widely spread.
Have been getting numerous wrong number just recently.
Have no idea who is "that"...

But what i know is you are a loser.
That's it.

Wishes

i want go oversea...
i want go watch dead slience...
i want to play soccer whole day...
i want to change...
i want to find happiness in any form...

Nothing much. Just want five wishes.
Thanks alot.
If you happened to pass by and look at it, please grant my wishes.
:)

......

.......




Emo again. :(

Result

Be Kind to me.

First round of the battle...
The result is out...

I Lost. :(

No more time to dwell on it.
Second round of the battle just started.
I want to win.
I want to subdue "you".

People....Show support to me.
Let me have the strength.
Thanks. :)

:)

When running, strong wind was blowing against me.
But it didn't stop me for running.
Cuz i know i have to cross the finishing line,
even i have to slow down...
i will make it to the destination.

I have to be brave. :)

Watching "all about love" today.
Make me realise one thing.
Time is so crucial and cruel.
A sec can make alot of different to the thing that had happened.
The most painful thing in the world is unable to shower the one you love your love at the right time.
When they are gone, that's it.
Regardless of that one is your gf/bf, it also include those people that you love. (e.g. family)

In my life, i learnt many things through a painful channel.
It hurts alot.
But i can't chose to learnt it in what way.
Sometime i feel that i rather don't learnt it at all.
Because the process is too much for a person maybe me only to handle.
But again i can't chose.

Maybe i have to learnt how to handle it when it come.
Learnt to let it go when it is suppose to let it go.
i like to "chuan niu jiao jian".
Really.

I need to change.
Show support to me please.

Midnight song

Again. Midnight song by me. 戴佩妮--單身潛逃. Again admire this singer for her courage and determination to do what she like. Compose all her song. Talented. Wonder such a small body can be so power. Even she is not famous, she just want to continue what she like. So great. Another singer that i admire and respect. Want to be like her. Do the things i like.

What a day!

Watching LKY's dvd. Hahaha... Don't get me wrong. I didn't bought it. It is from my boss one. So i watch it. Hmmm.. Not bad. I have been admire LKY few yrs back. Admire the way he talk confidently. Admire the way he stay firm to himself and how he manage to fight back. Was totally inspired by him. I want to talk confident like him. And be firm, not easily soft hearted. Have a iron arm.

I realise that i like to look back.
I have been living in the past.
I am soft hearted.
I think too much.
I like to be hard on myself.
I hate it.

Soon i will be strong.


我总想用最小的力量做最大的事，就像一棵被压在石头下的豆芽菜