Song for tonite.

Song for tonite.

Colbie Caillat - Bubbly

summary for one wk.

quarrel with my superior on fri.
for no reason,
i was accused for attitude problem.
wth!
ppl at the scene noe wat happen.
no choice.
she is my superior....
no matter wat i do, i dun have the right to say or decide anything.

it have been so long that i last watched a movie....
how much i wished/hope to step into the cinema again.
everytime planned to go watch alone.
but when that day come,
i just dun have the courage. :(

was given the permission to study part time....
looking and doing research now... :)
want to work part time too.
anyone got lobang plz intro me... :)

i just want to be strong...
i wish to be strong...
i will be strong...

there is a story behind every story....

.....thought

在夢中的人們將世界變的好安靜
一瞬間我還以為
全世界只剩下我一個人了

那種感覺....其實我是害怕的
也許, 還是習慣有人陪伴




其實一個人也很幸福
我想我可以慢慢依賴自己了:)

a familiar dream

last nite....
i dream of her...
dream that we patched up.
dream of the happiness we shared together before again.
the dream is so real...
until i woke up.

the moment i wake up...
i feel something familiar coming back to me again.
at the start...
i dunnoe where the feeling is coming from...
then i sit down at my bunk bed...
begin to think of it...the dream.
then i begin to realise...
this feeling i have before...
it is when i broke off with her the first few wks.

now then i realise...
no matter what,
somehow i still miss her.
i dunnoe why.
it sound silly.
cuz "her " already have move on and maybe now living happily...

somehow i just want to let her noe how i feel...
my heart told me to do so...
but my head told me to stop...
dliemma...

hope i wake up again tmr morning all the feeling will be gone.
hope...

if i have...
if i have a controller...
if i have a time controller...
i wish i can turn the time back...
i wish...
i wish....

sun 210608

ytd went for ndp duty...
not bad the experience....
have witness almost everything.
but wat not gd is it end too late. I almost 1am then reach hm. :(
will upload the pic asap.

i like to try on new stuff...
i want to experience many different things.
i want to expose myself fully.
i want to learnt as much as possible...
i want to be a better person. :)

i dun mind going through the tough period....
the only thing that matter is with who or what that i went through.
i decided to left the place i am now is because of some ppl.
maybe just that we can't click.
being backstabbed by you before.
i just dun understand why.
i am more flexible in thinking...
that's why.
no use staying down there if we don't help out each other.
another reason for leaving is cuz...
i want to test myself again.
want to see how fast i can adapt to a new environment.
hopefully i wun disappoint myself.

play quite well on thurs nite.
i enjoy it somehow...
hope i will carry on play well. :)
cheer!

the girl have been calling me...
starting i treat this as some sort of entertainment.
but as time pass...
i found it quite irritating.
haha..
i dunnoe why.

waiting for canon dslr 1000 to come out...
want to buy it.
want to capture all the beauitful memories/moments...
want to carry it and travel around the world.

sometimes i do miss " "....
make me emo everytime.

i am a joker.

new song: Realize by Colbie Caillat

stain

it always have been my dream to join the elite team...
such as commandos or ocs.

it will always remain a stain that i never make it through...
feel extremely emo when i saw photo of others.
just dunnoe how to describe my feeling.

it is not wat i want now,
but beside tis,
i have no idea on wat else to do.

Can anyone understand?
Can i have another chance to prove it?

i am a joker.

appear soon! plz...!

todae

the girl is really strange....
wth...
she ask me out....
again she tok alot abt that kind of things.
i ask here y chose me when she didnt even noe or saw me before.
the ans is chemistry.
hahaaa...
i just dun believe it man.
i just dun believe there is such a girl in the world.

hmm...anyway,
i noe i wun do that.
i think i am mature enough to handle tis issue.
i dun want any regret.
i dun want to do something stupid cuz a moment of follyness.

anyway, todae is my birthday.
a simple birthday.
went dinner with family to celebrate my birthday and father day together.
the environment is damn gd.
is at saf yacht club there..near sembawang..
got live performance too.

actually it is not abt celebrating my birthday that make my day smile. it is the closeness between my family member that make me touch. somehow i believe we will become more stronger and defy all odds to be the best family. tis family have gone through lots of lots of things that make this relationship so special. i am glad to be part of this family.

anyway, thanks everyone. (ailin, shufenie, xuelin, kian min, xiangming, mingkiat, ler, xiang, siying, swee kim, qiang). a simple birthday msg is already gd enough for me. thanks for remember my birthday. i never make the effort to remember many of my frenz except those that really close. feel quite bad. for now, i will try to remember. :) promise.


ok..now then i noe how to upload pic..
here it goes....

wat a person!

wat a petty person!
such a person dun deserve any of my attention.
i just found it quite annoying...
got bf le still come flirt with me.
i dun understand why.

somemore u hate someone so close to u so much...
i dun understand why...
no matter wat, she is the one that bring you up.
try to analysis the situation for you...
but u insist you are like that one...
can't be changed.
now then i noe you are like that...
despise and dun like tis type of person...
overestimate yourself.
forget it.

cool.....
cooldown... :)

wat a day!

todae got a weird gal call my camp no and say want to conduct a survey...
a survey regarding sex...
wth...!

she tok alot abt that kind of things....
and she say want to be straight forward...
omg...
i just can't believe got ppl call to my camp and want to do this kind of survey...
somehow i dun believe....
hmmm...
since she want to play or wat...
i play along with her...
whatever she say, i just say "oh ya!", "that's rite, i agree" etc....
and i just treat it as listen to story...
haha..
lifetime experience...!

somehow i just feel got ppl want to play prank on me since tmr is my birthday.
hmmm.....
let's play along ba.
act blur...
hahaha.....

day before

ppl always look forward to their birthday every years...
but to me,
i dun look forward at all.
Instead, i hope time will stall before the date arrived.
dunnoe y again.

dun really hope for any present or what....
to me,
birthday is just a normal day.

i am high and happy after playing a good soccer game.
:) contented.
play not bad on thurs nite.
looking forward to next games.

i simply hate....
feeling helpless...
feeling regret...
feeling emptiness...

wat should i do?
wat,why,when?

i dunnoe how to communicate well with ppl already... :(

sometimes i just wonder is there something wrong with me.
i dunnoe....

random post...

i dun need many friends....
one true friend is enough for me.

need to undergo another process...
feel damn .... W@#!#@!

thoughts....!

post out or not?
i dunnoe....
confused...
need some advice...

last time used to close my world to other.
then as time passed,
i dunnoe how to open anymore...
i dunnoe how to connect with other anymore... :(
how?

ppl will only appear when you are at the top...
when you are down,
almost everyone is gone...
it's reality.

think?
miss?
dream?
just appear in mind?
???

dunnoe i should use wat word to describe....
one more wk...
i feel nothing...
not looking forward to...
i dunnoe y...

simple wish...
simple hope...
just one person...
:)

cheers everyone!

weird

it is weird....
trying thing that i am not comfortable of....
trying thing that i feel strange...

when u come close...
i trying to keep a distance...
cuz i noe u r not the one.

when with u....
i think of her....
that's why i chose to slient...
that's why i chose to keep a distance...
that's why i chose not to bother anything.

that's why i am still here....
that's why....
that's why....
..........


:(

article to share...

here is a article to share...

some years ago, i used to play competitve chess. Nothing high powered. Just league games for my local club and the occasional weekend tournament. when i first started playing i lost games after game simply through running out of time. In a serious chess game, each player has a limited amount of time to make his moves. If a player exceeds the time limit, he loses the game regardless of the position on the board.

I used to agonise so much over my moves that i constantly got into "time trouble" and lost games that otherwise i might have won. There was, of course, a straightforward solution: I simply had to move faster. But, try as i might, i couldn't break the habit of playing slowly.

This went on for months. Before every game i swore to myself and my team-mates that i would move more quickly. But all to no avail. I simply couldn't speed up. This continued until in finally dawned on me why i played so slowly. It was sheer cowardice. I wanted to run out of time because i wanted to have an excuse for losing. At the end of a game, i wanted to be able to say: "Poor me. I was doing so well... but i ran out of time." Otherwise i would have to face up to the unpalatable truth that my opponent had simply outplayed me.

From that time on, i was able to play more quickly. I accepted the possibility that i might lose, fair-and-square, to a more skilled opponent. No excuses.

Based on what the story above, i somehow saw myself in this story. Some time i afraid to lose or whatever, i will find something to cover it. Simply is excuse. Since i am already drop to the lowest, maybe i should learnt how to expose myself and learnt to accept defeat. didn't need to care what ppl think of it. What matter most is after everything, what person i will become. :) need time to achieve it. i will try.

Life is more rewarding and more fun when you are willing to face- and perhaps even to embrace defeat. Success come only to those who have the courage to fail. There is no gurarantee of a Hollwood ending. But each defeat nobly endured is a kind of victory= a victory of character, if nothing else.

By: Gary Hayden