Edge of Breakdown

I can't count how many days already have passed.
I don't dare to count one day by one day back.
Just too painful and lack the courage to do it.

Again is the courage thing. :(

Used to think blog is a waste of time. But blog to me now is a everyday routine. Hahaha. I don't know why. I have no idea too.

Almost breakdown today during work.
Wonder how come my life is unfairly treated.
Wonder how come i have to experience so many things.
Wonder is tmr the day that i will be back to become who i am.
Wonder will i really overcome everything and become the person i want to be not.

I already have no mood to work yet there is someone find there is a need to step on my tail.
Maybe normal day should be ok one. Maybe this period is my crucial time.

Somehow those guys that break up with gf will do the same kind of thing.
Maybe only for those i know.
Maybe this is the way the guy know this should handle this way.
A guy's instinct.

Talk to my new collegues today.
Indeed somehow he make alot of sense about life and relationship.
He have been with his gf for 8 years.
I really wonder i almost 1 yrs then i feel already so terrible.
Then what about him if he break up with his gf?
I can't imagine it.
One yrs of memories is enough..
Wat about 8 years of memories?
Is he/she able to move on?
I don't have the answer yet.

A relationship really need compromise..
it take two hands to clap to make it work.
A relationship that will last always go through up and down.
I mean they will have a period of time when it is very "sweet"
then after that it will become lesser "sweet".
After that, it will become "sweet" again.
It is like a routine.
Almost all the couples i encounter is like the same.
It will surely meet obstacles or what on the way to happiness.
The thing matter most is whether both of them are willing to hold on long enough or work together to achieve something.

"She" doesn't have the patience.
"She" chose what she feel is right for her.
I respect her.
I can't stop her.


I will mind talk every min every sec.
I will try damn hard to change my mindset.
Not sure how long it going to take..
But i will make sure i will be the person i want to be.

我不知道我还能去哪里。
记得有一句台词是跑步是能够把我体内多余的水分蒸发掉，
那样我就不会容易掉泪了。
我不知道自己除了哭，还能干什么。
情绪本来就是无处可寻的。空白。。。一片

I want to watch Dead Silence. :(